so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
