It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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