Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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