sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
