You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
