I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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