ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
