Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My dick has a subreddit
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize