just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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