She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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