Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
