New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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