True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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