i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
