Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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