It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
