im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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