you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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