how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize