He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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