I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just found a bag of teeth...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
