I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
