I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
