I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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