does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
