oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
