At least make sure they are 18
Why
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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