real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
