I wannas sexs uuuuu
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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