He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
