Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
