Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
