went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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