You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
