You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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