I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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