I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
