hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
