im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize