He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My vagina just clenched in fear
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
