If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
