So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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