Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
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The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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