So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
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I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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