no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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