He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
