I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
