I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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