Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
