Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
