I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
