Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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