she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
