we're blogging at a bar
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
