So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
