aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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