I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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