He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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