At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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