I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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