things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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