I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize